just pretty much finished my last psych report for 3rd year. need to tidy it up tomorrow and submit this other thing which is only like 1000 words and thats my coursework done.
then exam time :[
having one of those student life crisiseseseses again. i really dont see me doign psychology honours at all, be it this year or after a year out. tough to study something you have no faith in. i liek learning about it but id rather learn about something that i wont have to 'practice' in. if i was studying history i'm sure i'd hate some of it, but there would be a sense of how unimportant it was and i think i'd like that a lot. doesnt make sense to say i want to learn about soemthign unimportant, but i think given the whole 'degrees areuseless' arguemnt, which is more relevant to social sciences than to most things, i think it snice to want to learn for the sake of learning. i'd like to learn about things that other people have learned about before, learn what people think about things and enjoy it. i want to learn lots more about literature. i want to learn about journalism, but i dont know that i want to write.
the thought of going back to first year is scary, not so much cos ill be an old(er) student, or the money thign or anything.
i just really dont know that i want to be in this city for another 3/4 years. its a big commitment.
gonna get an appointment at the english department next week hopefully.
i dont know what im hoping to get from it really. a wee bt of clarification or even inspiration would be nice.
starting to get excited about my party finally ! will be a fun night hopefully. just good to get lots of epople in one place. hopefully get a load of folk back here after too and we can continue drinking and talk about cool stuff, know.
so i still cant find my camera cable, :@, ands that after i half tidied my room this evening.
today i had every intention of goingt o uni today, instead i didnt get out bed till 2 and haven't left the flat all day. GOOD.
so ive just hung about feeling sorry for myself all day instead of doing anything productive. me and mcgregor have been split up for over a month now, should it not be getting any easier? horrible.
on a lighter note, wee ross is doing up my maws bathroom, so that makes the days all that bit brighter. hilarious chat.
went to rev last nght and ended up drunker than everyone else, for a change :-| gonna stay in this weekend, DECIDED. need to watch the monies anyway.
TOMORROW im going to try hard to roll out bed before noon and go into uni early and get soem work done, stressstressstress, 3rd year sucks.
ever get it where you hear or say the same word lots and lots and it stops makign any kind of sense, like if i went LEG LEG LEG LEG LEG LEG LEG
well thats what happens to me every time i hear that leona song ( which is a lot btw, cos i have the hits tv on 24/7) BLEEDING BLEEDING BLEEDING.
BLEEDING AWFUL MORE LIKE.
past week or so ahve been pretty GOOD, the week before that (this makes a lot of sense) was horrible and i just slept lots but sleep heals everything, and i think it also made me more beatiful, YEAH RIGHT.
been some pure pure good nights out, wish i had updated so i could remmeber events, but i cant. also still cant find my camera cable :@ gonna have to ebay a new one (apparently you cn do that?) or hopefully one of susans might fit, FUCK KNOWZ. theres not that many photos anyway, but you knwo, its the principle.
today was HORRIBLE i had to go to tesco by myself then i somehow got lost in shettleston and nearly had a nervous breakdown with a oot ful of yoghurt and colt meat and cranberry juice.HORRIBLE.
out tomorrow hopefully, i want to have a wee boogie. i need to lay off the old saucy waucy FOR VARIOUS REASONS but mostly cos its giving me a horrendous double chin, actual.
i bought bill bailey tickets for mcgregors birthday back when we were kosher :@ and i didnt want to be wide os i said we would still go but its on friday and i really really times a million dont want to go but i kinda have to now, erk. :(. im a bit better on the BROEKN HEART front (lol?) ive had some great nights out to ease da pain and eevn nights in or cinema trips with the burds which hugely help/ed. stil pretty horrible though, hence why i think friday will be awful, heres hoping it not though. bll better be EFFIGN FUNNY, i tel you.
think i might go bam up Y and make her play dramphone with me.
so i have a million and one things i could be doing but i have nae motivation.
ive been spending farrrrrr too much time in bed, pure too much sleep and when im not sleeping ill just sit and read or go online or whatever BUT THEN ILL END UP IN MY BED. ts no good. AHLL GET SORES. ill change it soon, i'm not making some kind of RESOLUTION on a tuesday thouhg, IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT. mondays are for that.
procrastination is awfulllll
unis ok, its laziness thats the problem,but i'll hopefully find my stride soon with that, im not up early for it any day apart from some fridays, so im pure havign long lies and stuff, WHICH SOUNDS GOOD bt i think id rather get up and have it done, then ahve my afternoons to myself, know. means i can go out boozing though which is good and bad in equal measure.
been on THE SAUCE a bit much as of late as well, but i am a student, am i not supposed to booze &sleep lots? yes.
me and mcgregor have split up and it is/was pretty awful. im not even sure what happened/is happening but aye, i didnt deal too well initially but ILL BE AIGHT. its just strange to have a pure change in routine as we as the ole emotional nonsense, like i have time on my hands by myself that i woul normally have spent seeing him (to borrow some words from elton john). i like time to myself a lot though, not that im pure antisocial but i enjoy time myself when i fel like it, and i think thats why we argued quite a lot, cos i want wanting any company. it was nice to have the option though, i guess. though ive still been seeing him a bit which isnt th best idea i guess, but i think id deal even worse otherwise. ive oynl ever known him as my boyfriend though and thats been lkike 18 months so its a hard thing to just change everything. its the kind of story that someone would tell me and id go YOU IDIOT, but its different. he keeps saying stuff like its not a final decision, like itll work itself out eventually, i guess it might but that doesnt make any sense. i think he wants to treat it as a 'break' but i cant really deal with that, i kinda need to know either way. although esentially it is kinda whats happening cos i still see him coasionally and a big part of me still thinks hes my boyfriend. weve not even had a proper chat about it realy, cos im awful for not wanting to 'COS AHLL GREET' btu yeh, i dunno, as i said when i tell the story i feel like im a pure loonball....so ill stop there.
me and Y got a curry tongiht and my gosh it was good. i onyl ate half but i might go finish it now, om nom nom
SO I'M BACK AT UNI its quite stressful and theres lots to do, i'm trying to ignore as much of the work as possible at the moment, workign quite wlel !
i've been walking home every day for I AM CAPTAIN PLANET.
i bought operation and pop up pirate. im so far undefeated at operation, FUCKIGN RIGHT. however i lost 3 in a row at pop up pirate, how outrageous is thsat? ALTHOUGH TECHNICALLY i doesnt say on it wther making him pop up is a win or a lose, i feeeeeeeel like a winner thouh.!
it was SUSAN SYSTEM STARS BDAY yey. we wore disguises and ate t rex cake, you better believe it. night out tomorrow, SYSTEM STA-AR BARMY ARMY.
im going to have a wash & tudy my room and upload some pictures FOR YOUR PLEASURE.
i got the hiccups while BURST on monday, then they went then came back on tuesay, then went again but i still have a sore throat/chest from them, FUCKIGN FUCK.
my hair is horrendous, i might go buy extensions tomorrow, but then itll sitll be horrendous, il just have more of it :(. oh what to do. i want to buy a dress to go party in, but i probabl shouldnt.
so i thought i had to go back to uni tomorrow but turns out its not till friday, do they even want me to go back at all??, i wonder.
i need to buy more BOARD GAMES, my amazon ishlist is ll shit dvds, cookbook that i wont use and board games.
HOWEVER i bought WHO'S WHO, whcih is like guess who, except cheaper, and better COS THERES NO BLACKS IN IT ¬! honestly not one black, how outrageous is that !
so yeah come round and play me, im pretty aweseom at it though, i mst warn you.
so i went out a few times and have been jrinking too much but its ok, cos its my last week of FREEDOM even though ill obv still go out when im at uni. i have 2 hour lecture at 9am on a friday mornign every week though. bi bi artschool thursdays :(
went to 90S NIGHT AT CATHOUSE fuck sake, fucking fuck. boozed..danced..watched wee ross rave..FALAFEL<3.. walking in rain..everyone at ours drawing on wall & wee ross..spanish flea..snooze..greggs..MAKKING FUN OF DAVE2K.........work, whitey.
fucking spanish flea, man !
also went to rev and fuckig got fucking LOCKED IN THE SMOKING AREA like id failed some kind of crystal maze task which i would never do. SPEAKINGOF WHICH IT WAS RICHARD OBRIENS BIRTHDAY and he was fuckignmockign me something awful, what a dick. nearly wrote richard whitely there, WOOFT.
looking back i wonder if they just didnt let me back in cos i was so minced but surely theyd just ahve said that. BOUNCERS ARE ALL FUCKING FASCISTS ANYWAY EH.
i woe up yesterday with a SKINT KNEE and then fell out with mcgregor and then fell in with mcgregor and so we played whos who and watched shit on tv.
today i went oot for a boozy lunch wiht my mum, funnny haha. i was telling her how cold the flat is so we went to primark and she bought me fleecy jam mies adn old lady slippers and a new dressing gown, all of whch i cam eon and put on and sill have on, PRETTY SEXY GUYS. m maw says i look well, haha. must be all the flalfel ive been eating and all the fake tan i put on before i went o meet her.
hope someones up for a booze tomorrow ! WHOOOMP THERE IT IS.
EVEN THOUGH my old entries make me look like a fucking idiot, i miss being an lj fiend :(
i got a wee cmaera, its AWESUM
i have A horrible hangover, the kind when you spew the day after, BLOOODY HORRIBLE. need to upload the pics formlast night, and one movie where its just me shouting A MOVIE, ITS A MOVIE !.........MOVIE !
was gonna do a pure CATCH UP but i dunno if i cna be arsed.
OHWAIT I CAN
summers been great, was a bit gutted i never got a PROPA HOLIDAYbut the mount of banter i had made up or it, and i managed to get a few wee trips in so i wasnt pure glasgooood out my nut. i saw fucking PRINCE AND GLASSJAW, hwat more could i have asked for. leeds was also amazing, bu when anyone asks me about it and wants details etc im just pure AYE IT WAS GOOD, REALLY GOOD. JUST ALL ROUND GOOD REALLY. AYE JUST GOOD MATE.
but it was !
i was blonde all sumer and im not any more. ive only been broon again for about a week and even now when i look at pics of me wiht blonde hair im pure WHAT?
what ese. AMY moved out and SHE-RA SUSAN SYSTEM STAR moved in. its weird ithought it would take getting used to but it just feels normal, its cool !
im back at uni in a week, fucking 3rd year, whitey.
cant beleve im 20, mad. im sill 17 in my heed.
the last years been amazing, getting this flat was the fucking best thing for me ever, i see my friends hunners and i get on 100x better with my family. i feel more myself, if that makes any sense. not that i was pure REPRESSED at home or anything, but i dunno, im muh happier.
me and mcgregor are still going out which is also pretty wild. its good but.
TODAY i am going to finally get up properly and g and see HALLAM FOE, even though mcleary says its shite, ruiner !
im going to try to keep updating, so expect more rubbish on o friend s page. LIVEJOURNALS NOT DEAD
I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN A YEAR that is wild. I went off livejournal cos of the 'does anyoen really care what i've been upto' factor. as well as us moving out and not having the net for a bit and ME HAVIGN A LIFE YOU LOSERS.
but its a shame cos i liked looking back on my old entries and remembering shit. might take it up again !i want to buy a new camera so i can get taking lots of photos again. I might go buy one soon though i am skint. I will buy a rubbish one and hopefully it will be so rubbish that it will make me andf my friends look like BABEZ.
last year has been good. flat is good ¬ living wiht my mum means i am happier and i get on better with her when i do see her, which is good. also ithas allowed me to get lots more pericings, yey. im glad me and amy and jenny dont hate each other yet (to my knowledge) and havign yr two best pals about all the time is rather good. we've been here 7 months now which is a bit wild. its good ALTHOUGH we saw avenged sefen-OLD accross the street the other day. THERE GOES THE NEIGHBOURHOOD.
what else. me and mcgregor have been goign out almost a year now minus a few breaks etc, that is an insane amount of time considering i did not want a boyf :( haha. A YEAR i proper cant believe it its been good though and i am happy.
uni was ok this year, iquite enjoyed it, i just finished my exams today. they went terribly. i am not just saying that. and i do not particularly want to talk about them so don't ask , thanks :)next year is goignt o be a lot harder so i shall try to BUCKLE DOWN though realistically i say this every year. i shoudl probably try and make some uni friends next year, but i am actually wuite happy plodding about myself. KNOWLEDGE IS MY FRIEND !
ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW ! i am looking forward to it lots. i will be 20 though which is a bit of a whitey :(. m and mcgregor are gettign up early and goign to edinburgh for the day and to the ZOO ! then at night im going t o the art school. it will be good, come ! friday there is tyalk of KRAZY GOLF although that depends on my hangover and then i am going to dinner with my fammile. saturday i am goign tp get my presenmt (laptop) and then working :( BUT SUNDAY IS HEAD AUTOMATICA and i am living the dream and pretendign that they wont cancel and it will be awesome.
so the next few days look to be GREATand after that suimmer has started.
THINGS ARE GOOD.
i hope you are well, everyone should start updating agauin GO ON
ugh SO ive nto updated for age which is a shame becuase i like reading back on things which ill forget. ive nmot been doignmuch just GAWN OOT and workign and whatnot
my birthday 2 nights out were btoh belters and a BIG THUMBS UP to all involved, ive got a coupla vids nm pics fomt he past wee while but obviuosly i cant be arsed to upload them or anything
im away for two weeks tomorrow yaaaaaaaaaaaay. Ys mother is collectign me at 9.45 am and i have yet to pack OHDEAR !
i shall miss you all
well not all but maybe a couple
ID LIKE TO SAY ID SEND YOU POSTCARDS BUT I PROBABLY WONT, MOSTL COS THE POSTMAN WILL READ IT AND THIS MAKES ME ANGRY
so FRIDAY i dunno what i did all day, slept? went to abc at night, good craic, aye. got fucked first on the best cheap cider i have ever experienced, and i have a lot of experience in that area BELIEV YOU ME. YOU? ME? aye
saturday i prally worked, aye i did what a banger.
sunday the same? think so.
MONDAY I went to town with my mother i think though this may be a lie whats the pioitn in lj if i am just guessing my lifes events>? who knows. my mum wanted to look for an outfit for a wedding shes going to btu she got fed up after one shop haha. "i dont liek lookign for clothes for myself if im nto int he mood' OK PSYCHO FACE. ended up me stoting about &buying some good stuff. bought new peeptie flats &a new dress for smmer &soem othr thigns, asif i can remember. my mum bought me new foundation cos she views thigns liek foundation as necessities. suits me pal. IN THE PM we went to the gayrage. amy drove COS SHE CAN YOU KNOW ! and ti was a belter. i met my soulmate in the form of:
he kissed my hand so i held it to my face. i think he saw me doign so. i hope he did.
more banter jen-y was beign insanely offensiveactually so shockign SO SHOCKIGN ! always the queit ones eh.
also we were all havign one of those 'things everyoen does that are really funny' conversations like AW MATE EVER FALLEN OVER PUTTING YER TROOS ON, AYE MATE' adn i got pure ripped cos i apparently do silly thins which noone else does. news to me ! gutted
we left &laughed a bit much at dec. id liekt o say i feel bad for shouting abue but itd just be a lie, though goths need loving too &i shoudla ppreciate this.
got home &got annoyed at someonne, ugh. you dont ever see me cos i avoid you, i dont talk to you anmymore cos i dont want to, im as shite as i can manage to be to you when i see you &yet you continue beign a fuckin idiot &dont get this message. not fucked me over enough no? get out my life :@ worst part is about 2%of me still wants to think youre not full of shite, btu i know you are really. fuck off
BTU AYE GOOD NIGHT WINT IT EH, AYE GOOD NIGHT.
tuesday i went with my mother to hamilton to get stuff for my brothers 21st. ende dup doign a bit of shopping but not much. ineed to stop buyign crap.
i also need to figure out ebay &try to get some money goign form previous crap i have bught and no logner use/like/wear.
tuesdsy night me and Y went to city and colour cos i got her the ticks for her bday ages ago. not like we wouldnt have gone if i hadnt but i liek to think i am a giver of good gifts.
gig was good, really nice atmoshpere except i kept thinking fo pure funny things &wanting to lauhg when he was singing seirous thigns :S haha.
SPEAKIGN FO GOOD GIFTS i got home &opened my gifts from Y which were all belters. oh how she spoiled me ! not with ferrero rocher though, leave that tot he foreigners !
why the gifts you ask? TODAY WAS MY BIRTHDAY HIP HIP HOORAY it was ok. my mum &dad had already paid for all my london trip which was my bday present but its not about the gifts eh ! got up and faffed about then went to work. AYE ON MY BIRTHDAY, it was ok except forgot mt name badge and my manager goes 'you have to wear one,' and i was like 'aye ill remember next time' and he wa like 'no you ahve to wear oen tongiht' and gave me one sayign LESLEY haha, i thoguth he was kidding but fuck, no he wasnt so everyoen c\alled me lesley all night, this seems funny to me now as a type this but it wasnt particularly !
also got felt up by a man about 3 tims my age, fuckign disgustign UGH
got home and my bdays over but im goign otu tomorrow to the art school &also friday to the cathouse to celebrate this glorious day n full, abnd you all should join me ! AYE YOU !
SO i foudn my camera & it has a million old pics on it, haha, went to upload them &found folders of old pics that i still hadnt put up on here. mostly cos every tiem Y tells me to upload them it makes me not want to ;)
so aye here shunners, theyre all a bit crap btu they reminded me of GOOD TIMES havy wish i gotback into udatign properly over the last wee while cos its been amazing &my memory is shocking, oh well !
today/the last wee whiles been rubbish, really. today especially. i got about 3 hours sleep on and off, not good. felt pure rubbish all day. i never really get worried or stressed about anything but when i do i seem to go overboard. exams are mon/wed/thu &i havent a clue, like not a clue. not in that 'person-who-studies-and-pretends-they-didnt-and-gets-good-marks' way. I have been 'studying' but i just end up reading over the stuff i find quite intersting ¬ putting much effort in. i kid myself on im studying &its only when it gets down to it &i realise what i have to do in the exam that i shite it &im just way underprepared. also been a big mix up &apparently psychology for next year is full without me being on the list :| dunno. tryign to get it sorted but i havent a clue about anythign like that. gilko did my course &he says it will be ok btu EUGH i pure dont think it will. psychologys what i came to uni to study, its the reaosn im doing arts and social sciences so theres nothign else i want to pick &do a degree in really. so i dunno what my options are. resitting first year makes me want to whitey &my mum will kill me. its not my fault thogh, i emailed the guy im meant to have an interview with on thu &he emaield me back on fri mornign saying 'come see me tuesday &ill signt he thing you need to get in' &then by friday night there was a thing up ont he webpage saying it was full. he never mentiond it was close to full or anything. :\ btu it is done on a 'first come first serve' thing so yeah it is my fault basically. dunno why the fuck im typing all this but aye. VENT. so theres nothign i can do except worry really, until he emails me back. probably monday. then i keep thinking 'even if iget a place i bet i still dont manage cos psychology is competitive for 2nd year and im a fuckign morongo &dont know enough for this exam &thus wont make it anyway'. the thought of resitting first year woudlnt bother me, its just the stigma that woudl be attatched to failing first year (basically what id have done) and the parent rage.
seriosuly about 90%of the time i NEVER worry. but when i do i just start worryign about EVERYTYHING. same thing if i get sad as well. like if i get sad abotu somthign silly liek boys then i start thinkign about all kinds of other shit &end up pure down. that happened today too, double whammy :(
was workign at 5 which i was dreading but it made me feel better. was good banter &i made 57 quid in tips which is gooooooooooooooooooood news.
yesterday was good. went shoppign &my mum bought me soem crap then met Y &were gettign our holidays sorted which is EXCITING. tenerife plz. 16th june thanks. bye bye !
were (me &my bro) goig to get photos taken at soem studio for my brrthees 21st cos my mum wants to 'mark the ocassion' or soem shit, dunno. actually dreading it more than is believable. my mums all 'if you put tape over your mouth now &stop eating you MIGHT look nice in them' really dont want to go. i dont particularly liek bad pictures of me any time (/insecure) but it doesnt bother me that much really. but these are goign to be ones my mum pure moans about &keeps &puts up &stuff and i rweally dont fancy it.
fucking moany prick tongiht honestly but this has helped somewhat cos i cant really eb arsed talkignt o anyoen about anything. rather just have a laugh and hope for the best :|
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